Philadelphia, PA - Due to recent comments declaring Trump supporters “ain’t black,” one reluctant Biden aid drew the short straw and had to explain to the Democratic presidential candidate that he is white and not black.
The revelation came as a shock to the former vice president who thought that his commentaries on Corn Pop and white kids versus poor kids were totally acceptable. It is unclear how Uncle Joe’s whiteness was not apparent to him, but he quickly apologized for being so out of touch, while simultaneously insulting people of all ethnicities at the same time.
The unlucky campaign intern, Tabitha Meade, cringed while explaining to Biden as he stood behind her and sniffed her hair. In a brilliant move, she produced a printed copy of his ancestry report, forcing him to hold it and stop invading her privacy. The former Delaware Senator looked in confusion until Meade turned the paper right-side-up for him.
“Well, I guess that settles it,” Biden declared, “I’ll have to work extra hard if I’m going to win this Senate race.” No one bothered to correct him about this particular point. “One thing at a time,” campaign manager Jen O’Malley Dillon insisted, “too much current information at once tends to derail him. If we can get him to stop with the racial gaffes, we’ll be headed in the right direction.”
When asked for a comment, Biden simply stated, “You know, you never know what you’re gonna say until you open your mouth and words start coming out.”
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