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Writer's pictureRobert McClure

Trumpkin Changes Twitter Handle To Disassociate From Trump


Narnia - Trumpkin the dwarf has officially changed his twitter handle to @dlfnarnia in an attempt to sever association with Donald Trump.

​ “I honestly don't even know the guy," explained Aslan's dear little friend. "I guess people just assumed my name was somehow connected to his. How do you even make that connection, people? Horns and halibuts! I mean, that's like saying everyone with the last name Clinton has their enemies killed."

  ​At first, he tried to separate himself from the Donald after his election by firing insults at him -  "You've got to be kidding me. You're it? That's the best we can come up with?" When that failed, he attacked Trump's policies with zingers like "Where have you been for last few hundred years?" But people still assumed it was just Trump being his usual, confusing self.

  ​In recent years, Trumpkin has received hate mail and death threats on his twitter account because of the assumed association with Trump. The president's recent handling of the coronavirus finally put the Narnian under enough fire to officially change his twitter name. "Beards and bedsteads!" he exclaimed, "that's it, I can't do this anymore."

  ​When asked for a comment, the DLF's BFF, Lucy Penvensie stated that Nikibrik was the real Trump supporter on the block. "Trumpkin usually stays out of politics, unless it involves Tellmarines. He does not care much for them."

  ​The dwarf also commented that he will be suing for reparations on "trumpkin" jack-o-lanterns that bear his name, but Donald Trump's image. "I need to make sure I don't get tied to anything that guy is up to. Don't implicate me with him. You don't want to do that, boy." 

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