Tired of disappointing your wife at Christmastime? Particularly with gifts? Well, Pearls for Swine has got your back! Here are seven great ideas that are sure to knock her socks off:
Socks - If you’re going to knock her socks off, it’s only decent to gift her some to replace them with. Plus, what’s more thoughtful than socks? They’re intimate. They’re practical. They’re also kind of one-size-fits-all.
Coupons for things you should do anyway - Kiss coupons. Massage coupons. Housework coupons. Cleaning her hair out of the drain coupons. Emotional conversation coupons. Five minute interruption during halftime coupons. The possibilities are endless and her appreciation will be too.
Nothing she asks for - We all know women speak in code. “Whatever” means “I don’t care, but I kind of do”. “I have a headache” means “I don’t want to”. “Here’s a specific list of things I would like for Christmas” means “whatever you buy me will be great, so have fun with it”.
Tools - Buying her a tool is a way of saying you will do the projects she wants done. The gift is not what’s in the box, but what’s in your heart. She won’t see a new impact driver, she’ll see the impact you make in her life.
Something homemade - Time to put that pile of scrap wood to use. Don’t know what to make? That’s okay. Just start screwing boards together and see where the process takes you. As long as you’re thinking of her while you make a giant, abstract horse statue, you can’t go wrong.
Jewelry - Just kidding! That’s stupid!
Yourself - Wrap yourself up and say “Tada!” when she’s done unwrapping. But if you put yourself in a box, don’t forget to make air holes.
We guarantee if you follow these guidelines, you’ll revolutionize your marriage with a Christmas your wife will never forget!
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