Hollywood, CA - Disney’s first princess is getting the royal treatment with a new live-action adaptation. But the house of mouse is said to be taking a different direction with the film given the current cultural climate.
The bold casting of Columbian descended “West Side Story” actress Rachel Zegler as the title character sets the tone for a broader interpretation of the classic story. “We didn’t want to make just another movie about a white girl who needs a man to save her,” commented director Marc Webb. “We want to give the world the answer to what it has been asking for a long time - ‘What if Snow White wasn’t that?’ This will be completely unlike anything you have seen, except for the other live-action adaptations that didn’t do so hot in the box office.”
While obviously headed in the direction of non-racial bias, the producers also decided to throw in some other elements of modern culture. Instead of having a human female villain (don’t worry, the queen will get her own empathetic backstory spinoff before long), climate change will take center stage as the ultimate baddy. “Precipitation Person of Unspecified Ethnicity and the Undocumented Immigrants” (working title) will take on the climate problem using the power of inclusivity and strengthening the voices of all women and minorities.
And those dwarves? “Too problematic,” says producer Marc Platt. “They prefer to be called ‘little people’ and don’t appreciate stereotypes. Our modern take will feature disenfranchised migrants struggling to find their place in a strange country. They will find advocacy with Sno - umm...Rachel’s character and achieve citizenship by the end of the movie. It is really going to be a quite inspiring story.”
Don’t expect to find a dashing prince in this movie either. Online rumors speculate that the pollution-poisoned prince will actually be rescued from the clutches of the evil climate monster by the heroine herself. The film is still in pre-production, but a sequel has already been greenlit along with a Disney+ series based on an obscure background character.