Kabul - The Taliban recently unveiled its new government for Afghanistan. Insiders are saying it is “totally inclusive, like, exclusively inclusive.”
“We welcome Sunni Islamic men from all different genders and faiths. Wealthy men of power, whether rich or poor, can serve in our governing body. Even men with several wives can be a part of what we are doing here,” claimed Taliban spokesperson Zabihullah Mujahid.
Prime Minister, Mullah Hassan Akhund, was asked in an interview whether homosexuals or genderfluid persons would be allowed to participate in the new system. “Absolutely,” he stated, “As long as they respect our gender norms and practice heterosexuality. We will respectfully and reasonably allow special concessions to be made for any man who is, indeed, a man and any man who exclusively enjoys relations with women.”
While such wording would not work in the West, “this is exactly the kind of appropriate language we have come to appreciate from militant Islamic power structures,” says foreign affairs expert Kip Hackman, “If a person has trouble understanding the rhetoric, it may be time to escape their Capitalist bubble and explore the world a little. I am a transgender man myself. I spent some time in the Middle East and found that, as long as I spoke their language and hid my identity, Sunni militants were completely tolerant of my lifestyle choices.”
Conspiracy theorists have swarmed online to raise questions about the legitimacy of this new government. But do we not become intolerant, bigoted, xenophobes ourselves by raising such questions? Much remains to be seen about whether the Taliban will continue with such tolerant, inclusive policies, but it seems, for now, that all is well in Afghanistan.