Washington, D.C. - Representative Louie Ghomert (don’t worry, we’ve never heard of him either) spoke up in a congressional hearing for the House Natural Resources Committee with a startling suggestion - “Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around (the moon) and pull it down.”
The statement was made in response to a discussion regarding climate change. Lest we fall into the error of sound-biting, let’s look at the entire quote: “What is it you want? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.” Jennifer Eberlien, of the Forestry Service, responded by humoring him and asking, “Then what?”
“Well, then you can swallow it,” he continued unabashedly, “and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair...am I talking too much?” Everyone in the audience shouted a resounding “YES!” as he hung his head, sheepishly.
Not one soul was sure what he meant by the strange statement. And furthermore, no one was sure how that was a solution to climate change. And even furthermore, nobody was sure about Ghomert’s mental capacity or education level by the end of the meeting.
As the hearing dismissed, Ghomert ran out into the streets singing an off-key version “Buffalo Gals” and yelling “Merry Christmas” to inanimate objects. A subcommittee is currently convening in order to evaluate his mental competency.