Worship Leader Loses Soul-Patch In Tragic Accident

Dallas, TX – The pastoral staff of Solid Rock Fellowship Of God In Christ Jesus was returning home from a leadership conference when tragedy struck in the form of a fender-bender. Worship leader Miles Redding took one on the chin for the team.

       The accident occurred as a smart car rear-ended the church van. Redding was driving when his signature soul-patch was removed as his face grazed the steering wheel, stripping him of his source of power. None of the other passengers were harmed, “but we’re all pretty shaken up,” claimed Teaching Pastor Seth Barret through his twelve o’clock shadow. “It could have been any of us.”

      Epically bearded Lead Pastor Byron Humes commented “This is a sad day for Solid Rock. Miles was a talented worship leader. He had recently mastered a cheater F chord. But with his soul-patch gone, I guess he will just have to work in our children’s ministry.”

       When asked for comment, Redding’s wife Cynthia said she will stick with him through this difficult time, stating, “I meant what I said when I told him ‘For better or worse’. The doctor said it may never grow back. His horrible disfigurement is just something we’ll have to live with.”

       According to reports, the Student Pastor’s goatee and Deacons’ mustaches are in tip-top shape. At reporting time, Miles was in stable condition with an IV full of Rogaine going directly to his lower lip.